My Heart Breaks a Little Every Day

So many children out there need good homes. Apparently not our home. We saw the sweetest boys, brothers, one was 3 one was 7. It was the first time we decided to pursue specific children instead of waiting for the agency to send us lists, which they've only ever done once in the year we've been doing this. I am starting to understand more and more why people go to other countries for children and why so many children in America just languish in foster care. Anyway these boys were in another state so in-state families are given preference. The social worker said they have over 100 families to go through. I take some comfort in thinking that means these sweet kids will get a home, even if it isn't us.

I told my husband how I was starting to despair about it ever happening for us. He got annoyed and told me he didn't want to hear it.

We're Remembered

Our agency sent us a list of children available for adoption. None match with us, however, but it was a nice sign of progress that we received the list at all! What a wonderful Christmas gift it would have been.

Yay!

Our foster license is here!!!!! Finally! So now we can...

...wait. And wait some more.

But we're a BIG IMPORTANT STEP CLOSER!!! Whoo-hoo!

To Whom It May Concern

we don’t know how old you are
if you’re 1 or if you’re 2
we don’t know if you’re a boy
if we should paint your room in blue
maybe you’re a little girl
with blonde or red or brunette hair
we don’t know if you learned to walk
or should be carried everywhere
you could be fully 5 years old
less than 1 or more than 3
we don’t know if you cannot speak
or cannot hear or cannot see
is basketball your favorite game
do you like swinging at the park
can you spin circles all day long
are you afraid of the dark
have you a favorite teddy bear
that travels everywhere you go
have you never owned a toy
so much that we just don’t know
we don’t know if you live nearby
or if we’ll have to travel far
before we bring you home to us
before we can be where you are
did you learn to tie your shoes
or will we have to show you how
we don’t know how long we’ll wait
we only know we love you now
you’re bed is made, the toy box full
there’s clothes we don’t know if you had
when you’re ready, please come home
sincerely, future Mom and Dad

Update

Since last I posted, the fingerprinting office had lost my husband's fingerprints. They would not let him come in and do it again because they were sure it was in the system somewhere and having him submit a second set would "confuse the system". I'm thinking that if you can lose a set of fingerprints that were scanned directly into a computer instead of done the old-fashioned way with ink and paper, than the system is already "confused" somewhere.

Yesterday, we finally got word that they found his prints. Or what they think are his prints. I'm waiting for the cops to show up saying these "prints" were found at a crime scene somewhere.

The waiting is frustrating enough but knowing we are waiting because someone else made a mistake (Actually this would be 2 somebody else's, the first one being the background person who lost our paperwork for 8 months and when they found it, told us it was expired so we had to do it all over again.)

I'm afraid that by the time I meet my first foster child I will be so bitter and disgusted by the whole system that I would no longer qualify as a fit mother.

Really it all just shows how overloaded the system is. Most incentive for me to get into it, try to help shoulder the burden instead of complaining about it.

CASA Interview

I had an interview for the CASA program. They are still waiting for my friends to turn in references for me but other than that, they seemed to like me. I talked about my son a lot and the woman interviewing me was happy to know that I had experience with special needs children. Since I just took the PRIDE classes for the foster care license I already have some of the training that the CASA training covers. The more she told me about the program the more excited about it I am. And it seems the more we talked the more she thought I would be suited to the job. She took a lot of notes and a polaroid for my file. I left with the training binder and CASA guideline manual. We'll see what happens.

Got fingerprinted for the foster care license. Again we are being told that this is all we need. It will be a few weeks before we know if we are officially licensed and then possibly months before they start trying to match us with a child. So we wait and wait and wait again.

That Decided

I have been looking into becoming a Court Appointed Special Advocate (aka Guardian Ad Litem.) When I was going through the training for foster care I met a couple women who work with CASA and they told me they thought I would make a good one. I did not know, at the time, that there were two different classes of CASA. There are those who work with children in Legal cases like custody disputes, paternity suits, etc. Then there are those who work with children who are abused and neglected, or children against whose parents such allegations are made.

CASAs investigate, interview everyone involved including parents, teachers, doctors, etc. They make reports to the judge on their findings and recommendations. Sometimes, the cases can go on for years and the CASA may be the only person who stays the same for the child, since he/she may get bounced from caregiver to caregiver, lawyers can change, case workers get reassigned, etc.

I was having trouble deciding which branch to pursue. Legal CASAs are often the only ones investigating. CASAs for abused children are secondary investigators since Child Welfare and legal agencies are already investigating.

There are simply not enough people out there to speak up for all the children who aren't being heard. Look into becoming a CASA.

Anyhoo...

I wasn't sure I could work with abused children and maintain objectivity. The fact that I really hate to add the word "allegedly" is probably the biggest clue that I might have trouble there. Then I read sheraya's latest. Her Boy is getting a raw deal. I am filling out the app to be a Legal Issue CASA. If I can lift even one Boy up on my shoulders so he can be heard above the crowd, it will be worth whatever it takes. I don't want to sit back and say, "Gee, what a shame. Someone should DO something."

Damn it, I am going to DO something. Maybe I can't change the whole world. But I can change someone's world. And then so will they.

Do it, people. Do it today.

Washington
http://www.washingtonstatecasa.org/

Oregon
http://www.casahelpskids.org/

Connecticut
http://www.childreninplacement.org/volunteer.html